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| Top left: Cindy Bautista-Thomas, Top right: Cindy & her children, Bottom left: Sisters Cindy & Sofia, Bottom right: Cindy & husband Winston |
My First Five Weeks
in a Ph.D. Program by Cindy Bautista-Thomas
This week marks five
weeks of being a doctoral student. Today I had my first meeting with my advisor
who happens to be a dynamite Latina who is a powerhouse in the area that I am
interested in exploring further: emergent bilinguals and academic outcomes.
Before the meeting I went to her website (yes, she has her own website!) and
read up on her current research and perused a few of her articles. I wanted to
be prepared in case she asked me a question about her research. During our
meeting she didn't ask about the research but did ask me how I was doing and
how I was managing it all. I shared with her my joys and challenges of the
program so far and she related to my experiences as a doctoral student with
many layers. She provided encouragement and gave me suggestions of who to
network within and out of the program. I felt invigorated after our meeting.
When I got accepted
into the program it was she who sent me the email at 10 o'clock at night. A day
later she asked me to start reading some of her work as she hoped that she and
I would write articles together! Write
an article together? Was she sure that she was writing to the right doctoral
candidate? And there began my short lived self doubt journey. I sat in my
classes, prepared with notes from my readings and often froze in my seat. I
wondered if what I had to say was smart enough or important enough to
contribute to the discourse taking place. It was my sister Sofia who reminded
me that I was smart enough, good enough and had gotten accepted into the
program due to my own merit.
As I spoke with other
Latina doctoral students I realized that what I had experienced was quite
common for students of color and decided right then and there that when I had
something to contribute that I would do so, con orgullo y seguridad!
Juggling a full time
job, three children, a husband and a doctoral program is not for the weak and
weary. I look to my family and God for support and would not be able to do this
otherwise. While it hasn't been easy declining social gatherings with friends
and family, I have found it challenging to balance it all. It's a work in
progress! With a birthday right around the corner I am grateful and blessed for
another year of discovering myself.
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