This
week I had a disturbing conversation with a brilliant young Latina who just
graduated from college. She was almost in tears recounting interactions she recently
had with two White women to whom she was reaching out regarding her desire to
apply to law school. Although neither of
them directly told her that they did not believe she was capable of getting
admitted to and completing law school, they were not friendly or encouraging
either. One of them handed her the
admission information carelessly and barely explained the process when asked. The other woman had been a supervisor of this
Latina for an internship and did not share any words of encouragement either
and was actually quite standoffish, which the Latina found odd considering she
had worked with her closely for quite some time.
These
interactions seemed harmless and I guess we should not expect warm interactions
from people we hardly know in academia, but this young Latina sat in sadness explaining
that she had a “feeling” that she might have been treated poorly because she was
Latina. She wondered if maybe it was her
Spanish accent or that they thought because she was Latina she would not do
well on the LSAT. I wish I could have told her positively that these were not
reasons for their lack of encouragement.
I also assured her that her feelings were valid and that she was not
imagining this “cold” treatment that seemed to want to freeze her out of academia.
What
upset me the most about her story was that I know how highly competent this
Latina is and how much potential she has for changing the world. During her
undergraduate years I had the pleasure of watching her grow in her leadership,
confidence and scholarship, having written an excellent senior thesis comparing
Latin American and Middle Eastern women. It makes me angry that
these White women do not realize that to this young Latina, they represent
authority figures in academia who with their indifferent interactions, made her
feel like she did not belong in an advanced degree program.
This
young Latina’s story really touched me in a way I did not realize until I got
home. It reminded me of a White male
dean at my graduate institution who made me feel the same way about my
potential success in a Ph.D. program. Many
years ago, when I was about to complete my Master’s degree, I liked my faculty
so much, that I decided to stay at the same university for the Ph.D. I went over to the main office to ask for an
application and information about admission.
This dean was the only person in the office and smiled at me curiously when
I asked him to please let me know the process to apply for the Ph.D. program.
Without asking me for my academic background or credentials, he said to me,
“you know it’s really difficult to get into a Ph.D. program. You shouldn’t set yourself up for
disappointment.”
I
did not know what to say. I just froze
and took the paperwork that he was reluctantly handing me with the admission
information. I wish I could have told
him how I graduated from college in three years with the honor of cum laude and
senior leadership awards. I wish I had
the courage to tell him that I was about to complete my Master’s degree at that
same institution with a 3.9 GPA and that more than half my courses were already
doctoral classes. Would that have
changed his perception of what a potential Ph.D. student looks like? Maybe.
Maybe not. All I know is that I was so upset, I went back to my
apartment and completed the application, personal statement and sent out the
requests for recommendations that same night.
I not only got into the program, but completed all of the coursework and
passed the comprehensive exams and my GPA is still a 3.9 as I continue to work
on my dissertation.
Unfortunately,
I almost allowed that one White male dean to fill me with self-doubt and taint
my whole experience at a wonderful institution that has taken great care of me
as an employee, student and scholar. He was wrong in how he treated me and with
his discouraging words almost froze me out of academia and an advanced degree.
However, since I am a Libra, I have to balance out that bad interaction with
the overall amazing experience I had with a very encouraging and nurturing
faculty at my graduate institution, for which I have a special love and
affection. When I am on that campus I
feel like I am home, which was true at one time since I actually lived on
campus when I worked there in Residence Life.
Just as there are individuals in the academic pathway who may cause
Latinas to doubt their presence in academia, thankfully, there are more
individuals who believe in us and participate actively in ensuring our success.
I want the brilliant Latina I mentioned in the
introduction to know that the women who treated her so coldly are also wrong. I am positive that not only will she get into
law school and find many supporters, she will be successful in completing her
J.D. and she will go on to do great things – like she is already doing! Pa’ lante hermanita!
